Non-faggy rules for my unborn son: #1-3, Bathroom Etiquette
1. When you go to the bathroom and there are multiple urinals without separative panels between them just stare straight ahead or straight at your dick. I know you’re not gay, and it’s cool if you are, but no one wants to think some other dude is trying to scope his piece in there.
2. Also, don’t be that weird Asian guy who won’t go until there is a one urinal gap. If you have to stand next to another guy just do it. We’re all men and men have to piss sometimes.
3. You don’t have to wash your hands unless you pee on them. Your dick is cleaner than your hands. It stays protected in your pants 90 percent of the time while your filthy hands are out grabbing disease ridden door knobs and exposed to the disgusting world. You should actually wash your penis after you touch it. And if some square in an Eddie Bauer fleece says, ‘Uh, aren’t you gonna wash your hands?’ tell him to go fuck himself and then kick a trash can over if there is one near by.
